Smokey Joe’s

Bar #12: Smokey Joe’s, 40th and Walnut

Ah, Smoke’s. What really is there to say about this establishment? I would say I enjoy it in the same way I enjoy watching trashy VH1 reality shows (Tool Academy, anyone?) or maybe eating way too much junk food. This Penn staple has provided endless entertainment for me and Brynn, but it remains exactly that: a PENN staple. Aside from some pretty awesome staff members, the only thing Smoke’s has going for it is being a center for all Penn seniors and the younger folk who have good fakes, which, I mean, is cool if you’re into that sort of thing. (What?! College students have fake ID’s? No, never!) Following a little tradition of ours, Brynn and I both ordered Kamikaze shots at the bar, complete with classy plastic shot glasses.

Kamikaze shots at Smoke's

Cheers to cheap plastic shot glasses?

The ever-entertaining Smoke's dance floor

Smoke’s is a good fall-back for a Saturday night when there’s nothing going on, but our advice is to never ever go there if you don’t go to Penn. Or Drexel…but mostly Penn. The DJ is consistently questionable at best (this time I heard a mash-up of “Come Together” by The Beatles and “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails, probably with some techno beat) and the dance floor (see above) is always filled with very drunk white people dancing like…well, very drunk white people. The drinks are standard, but good luck getting to the bar through the weekend crowds. All in all, Smoke’s is somewhere you go to run into those people you knew freshman year and haven’t talked to since (and usually some people you actually like, too), not somewhere to have a great bar experience.

Smokey Joe's Ratings

The Bar Graph: Smokey Joe's

Stay tuned! Brynn and I have a big weekend ahead of us!

<3
Emily

The Blockley Pourhouse

Bar #11: The Blockley Pourhouse, 38th and Ludlow

The Blockley Pourhouse opened in University City a few months ago, but so far it has yet to become a popular destination for Penn students. Emily and I decided to investigate why this might be the case, and unfortunately we found plenty of reasons. First, when we walked in the door, we were informed there was a $5 cover for the band that was playing that night, the amusingly-named Mightychondria. The band was actually quite good, and the cover charge might have been worth it if the crowd had been larger than 15 or 20 people. The vibe of general emptiness wasn’t helped by the fact that the venue itself is huge—definitely one of the more spacious bars we’ve ever seen. It would be a great space to rent out for a large event, but felt pretty dead as a bar.

Upon checking out the drink list, we were pleasantly surprised to find an all-day everyday $4 Jack Daniel’s special (!), and we ordered two Jack and Cokes. These were both strong and tasty, but we’re generally pretty biased in favor of anything that involves whiskey (if you haven’t noticed). We had a decent time hanging out with some friends and watching the band, but the music was so loud that it was really hard to have any legitimate conversations.

Jack and Cokes at The Blockley

Matching drinks and nails this time!

The Mightychondria

Considering how hard it is to deal with zoning and liquor license laws in Philadelphia, The Blockley seems like a real missed opportunity. Maybe they’re still getting things off the ground, and maybe Wednesday night wasn’t the best time to check the place out, but overall we were definitely disappointed. A couple notes about the ratings below: drink creativity was improved by the beer list, which included a great selection of drafts, and the negative sketchiness rating had a lot to do with the presence of The Atlantis Gentleman’s Club next door.

The Blockley Pourhouse Ratings

The Bar Graph: The Blockley Pourhouse

—Brynn